I spent the day yesterday doing a little holiday shopping including making a little stop to a store I have not been to since we lived in Baltimore. All sorts of crazy emotions started coming back to me as I remembered this time of year on the East Coast. It wasn't before long that I started to realize how homesick I was for that crazy lil' place. We spent the last 6 Christmas' there and it almost feels unnatural to be somewhere else.
I miss seeing the same lights put up across town, eating at our "normal" spots and trying out their winter menus, as well as the snow. I cannot believe I am saying that because I lived through Snowmagedon there. However, there was something comforting about it all. Who doesn't love a cozy jacket and scarf?
I think one of the things I miss the most is the glow of the tacky lit up Baltimore streets (which I mean in the most loving way). Leg lamps in the windows (you'll shoot your eye out), candle lights flickering through window panes, and hubcap Christmas art decor. Yep, this is the one time of year that Baltimore was truly alive for me.
The hubs and I used to make snow angels....
Overall, I just feel homesick for what I remember to be the norm at the holidays. I pictured spending the next few Christmas' there with our little man and it was so strange how quickly that all went up in smoke.
But let me be honest with you. As much as I miss it, I do realize that God had a plan for us and he knew what he was doing pulling us out of there. The day after Easter my husband was actually held up at gunpoint at the bus stop a few blocks away from our house. The two men demanded everything from him and after they ran off a police car drove up 20 seconds later and my husband was able to flag him down. That morning was a huge eye opener for us. The last man that had been held up in the same spot a few months before had been stabbed to death...he didn't go home to see his family that day. I had never been so excited to be woken up by my husband at 4 o'clock in the morning. A month later we found ourselves packing our life up and waving goodbye to our first home. The home that never really felt quite the same after that April morning.
I slept on a blow up mattress the night before we left in our big moving truck to move across country. We all were together in the living room because the house sat so empty and eeire. I was feeling quite anxious to get out of town. I just kept telling the hubs I felt like we shouldn't be there anymore. We were running behind schedule and I just couldn't shake an unwelcoming feeling. Right then gun shots were fired down our street. My husband and I jumped up and made sure our little boy was sleeping ok. We knew right then and there it was time to go more than ever. So we left that house and have been grateful ever since. Which is why it feels so strange to me that I miss it so much right now.
|That's a big ole' truck covered in snow in front of our house|
I hope that all of your are where you want to be this holiday season & feeling blessed just knowing that God has made a plan for you as well as me. I hope it is going to be a much lighter year, with laughter being the heaviest things on our hearts. Thanks so much for letting me vent to you about what I am feeling. You guys are amazing and I hope I did not bore you too much. I look forward to seeing you all on Monday!
Safe travels to all of you heading to be with family and have an awesome weekend!