Sunday, December 4, 2011

It's Official, I'm a jerk! A note from the Hubs

Let me start this guest post by saying Happy Birthday to my amazing wife! Not only does she not know that I am doing this, but she also doesn't know that I have been lying to her for weeks now. (Well, at least I hope she doesn't know.) But before I get to all that, let me take yall back 8+ years. When Courtney and I were dating I hatched a plan to surprise her with a proposal. The plan fell apart, mostly due to my weak ability to keep a surprise, but that's not important. See, at the time, I was stationed on a ship out of Galveston, TX and would spend any free time I had with Courtney 210 miles away. (Coincidentally, my ship was 210 feet long.) She was working as a co-manager of baby furniture store at the time, and often would leave me alone in her apartment while she worked. I didn't have a car back then so she would let me keep hers while she worked. When I picked up the engagement ring we had looked at together, she had no clue I had already called the store ahead of time to make sure it would be ready. Without Courtney knowing, I drove the hour down to San Antonio to pick up the ring that would soon be burning a hole in my pocket. Before I left the jewelry store, I asked the sales associate to call Courtney at work and leave a message for me. In the off chance that she suspected I had escaped to pick up the ring, I wanted to throw her off my trail. When I returned to ABC Kids to hang out with Courtney for her last hour of work that day, I was met with the look of a broken-hearted girlfriend. After I left San Antonio, Rose called from the jewelery store and passed the following message:
"Hello, Courtney, this is Rose from San Antonio Jewelry. I tried calling Ryan on his cell phone, but he didn't answer and I am getting ready to leave for the day. I just wanted to let him know I heard back from the jeweler, and he said he can have the missing diamond replaced and ready to be picked up next weekend. Again, please let him know I am so sorry he was unable to pick up the ring today; I know he was really looking forward to it."

There was no missing diamond, of course, I only needed something that would be believable by my smarter-than-the-average-bobcat girlfriend. I had intentionally asked Rose to call Courtney as soon as I left the store, knowing that she would spend the next hour worrying herself sick trying to figure out how to break the news to me that she knew what I was up to. -Mean, I know. She sweetly tried to burst my bubble as gently as she could in an effort to minimize my heartbreak. I tried to act as irritated and disgusted with Rose as I could muster for 'ruining my suprise'. The hardest part was keeping a straight face. I thought for sure Courtney would see straight through my 'disappointment' and know that I was lying. Well technically, Rose lied. I just went along with it.

I of course had the ring in my pocket the whole time, with all the diamonds in their proper place. Actually, I hid the ring box under the spare tire in her trunk, just in case she looked in the glove box, or center console, or any other place I might stash it. Paranoid, I know. But I didn't want to ruin the surprise.

Why am I telling you about this engagement story on her birthday, you ask? Here's why:

This present has been hiding in the spare tire well under the trunk floor of our car since yesterday afternoon. Man, RyRy, That looks a lot like something Courtney would wrap!
If that's what you re thinking, you're correct. That is exactly what something Courtney would wrap looks like. Because she did. A few weeks ago I told Courtney our friend asked for gift advice for his girlfriend. Courtney offered some excellent advice and even offered to wrap it for him. (Yes, Rob, I am totally talking about you.) And who wouldn't want a gift that looks this good to be given to them? In the words of Rob himself, "It looks like a work of art and shouldn't be unwrapped." I agree wholeheartedly. However, I lied. Courtney, Rob didn't ask you for gift advice. And This present wasn't really for Sarah. When you offered to wrap it for him, I just couldn't think of a graceful way to say no. Then it struck me. I may not be the first husband to ask his wife exactly what to get her for her birthday. However, I bet I can be the ONLY husband, EVER, to have his wife accept that same birthday present in the mail, open it, and wrap it, without ever knowing shes doing it for herself. That's right. I totally made you gift wrap your own present this year. Well, one of them at least. Maybe next year will be better and I won't even have to be involved with the process at all, you can just do it all for me. Hahaha.

And for those of you who think I had it easy, let me set the record straight. Keeping secrets is something that I have to work hard at. Its not easy for me to know something and not tell someone. It's even harder to lie to your wife, and remember all the lies, just to keep your story straight. My wife is a smart cookie. Not only did I have to create and pre-plan the lies that I would tell her, I also had to make sure that whatever story I told her was believable enough for her to accept and move on from. No small task, let me tell you.

I'm not going to show the present entirely, I will let Court do that later. Her gift wrapping technique was actually really awesome, and I know Sarah is probably a little bummed that her present isn't really hers. I know I would be if I were her.

On a more important note, Courtney, I hope you aren't completely angry too upset with me for making you take all the time and effort you did to wrap a present for someone that will never see it. I did it out of love, I swear. Actually, I did it because it's Allarious funny. One day you'll look back at your 29th birthday and remember the time when I made you wrap your own present and laugh. Just like how we look back now at our first date where I called that 'other girl' to leave her a message and it was really me telling your voicemail I was having a great time. Or when we talk about stay in in Tuckson, AZ and laugh. Or when we were driving home from Texas to Baltimore and the whole windshield wiper arm broke off the camaro and all we had for the rest of the trip was one wiper and one stump. Or like a couple weeks ago we went all the way to Novato to run errands and realized I left my wallet, and we couldn't use your card because it had been cancelled due to fraudulent activity, and we had to drive an hour to the house and back just so we could buy groceries. Oh, is that too fresh? Not funny yet? I'll give it some more time then.

I love you babe, and I want you to know that I hope you have the best birthday you've ever had. And if you don't, maybe knowing that I have struggled to keep this a secret for so long will be a consultation prize. Hahahaha

Happy Birthday Sweetheart, I love you!!

Love, RyRy

Also, Since I made you move three thousand miles away from home and can't throw a party in Point Reyes, CA with all your closest friends, I thought maybe we could do the next best thing, a Blog Party! Because whats better than throwing a party that requires minimal planning, no food, no stress, and most importantly no Clean up? The best part is, No matter how many people show up, there's always room, and you don't have to worry about entertaining anybody!


  1. gotcha! Hope you enjoy every second of your special day. Please be careful when unwrapping Sarah's gift. Happy birthday, Courtney.

  2. Happy Happy Birthday Courtney! I hope you have a fantastic birthday full of love, fun, and surprises! Ryan has been so excited to do this for you and I hope you are surprised and love it! I hope you have a wonder-filled birthday and feel the love of your friends from all over the place! Baltimore sends her love and birthday wishes, too. Happy Birthday! Carmen

  3. Happy Birthday My Sweet! You are extremely thoughtful, creative, generous and generally all around awesome. You make the world a better place for all that come into contact with you. I hope that you have a fantastic birthday with all of the things that you love most. Thank you for your friendship. Enjoy your day! Much love to you!!!!!

  4. Happy Birthday Courtney!!! I hope that you have a fantastic day and LOVE your present. We miss you dearly here in Baltimore. It has been fantastic being able to catch up with you everyday on the blog. Such a fun way to stay inspired by you. Happy Happy Happy Birthday!!!

  5. Happy birthday!!! Enjoy your day, you deserve So much for being a wonderful friend, wife, and mother!!!! Love you FOREVER!!! :)

  6. Happy birthday Courtney. I love you so much and so proud of your life. Love, Esteban.

  7. Happy Birthday, Courtney! Have a beautiful day!!!! Love, Amanda.

  8. Happy Birthday Courtney, hope its wonderful!!!!

    From a new reader :)

    p.s. what a great husband you have!!

  9. I love you like you are my daughter courtney, have a wonderful birthday and may God continue to bless you always! Love-marcela garza

  10. We miss you, Ryan n Ollie. Hope to see you all in Chrsitmas or new years. Your friendship and support of Elizabeth has been, is, and will forever be priceless. Hope you have a great day. Dad (Bobby) garza

  11. Happy birthday Courtney! Love n miss u! -Rudy

  12. What a sweet surprise!! Happy birthday! :)

  13. Happy Birthday, COURT!EY, I Love you.Mimi

  14. Let me start off by saying I appreciate all of the time, thought, and effort you put into "my" gift. haha You are so sweet that did all of that for someone you've never even met. I have heard nothing but wonderful things about you and Ryan and now I know it's all true. I hope you were not too upset. When I heard the plan my first thought was "what a typical man thing to do". Make her pick out her own gift?...oldest trick in the book... But I was wrong. You don't have a "typical" man. The amount of thought put in and the trouble he went through to keep this a secret is unimaginable..... & all because he wanted you to have the perfect birthday present. You are a great person Courtney & deserve to have the most perfect birthday! ~Sarah : )

  15. Happy Birthday to you, my very special daughter! I thank God every day for the precious gift He gave me 29 years ago today. We will miss all the birthday fun today, but can't wait to catch up when we see you in a few weeks! Hope you have a great birthday with your sweet hubs and darling son! Bunches of Love - Mom & Ronny

  16. Happy Birthday to Beautiful Courtney! Your husband is so sweet! We hope he treated you like a little princess today. Are you ready for our 30s?!!! Yikes! You're such a dear friend. We miss you. Enjoy today!

    Hugs from Texas,
    James, Cathy, Molly & Adelynn "Addy" Covey :)

  17. Sounds like fun birthday suprise... Happy Birthday, From Just a blog reader. Thanks for letting us share your blog...

  18. Well, I have been so impressed with your creativity, Courtney - and now to see how truly creative Ryan was in planning and implementing your birthday surprise, I look forward to many more "good reads" of your life and times on your blog. And very belated wishes that this past birthday and all of your birthdays are filled with love and blessings. Great Aunt Julett


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