I wasn't originally going to talk about this on the blog so I could spare all of you non-mom's out there. But I'm realizing today I just need a bit of support from some fellow ladies and moms. Why is it that it felt like one huge punch in the gut when I dropped him off and even more perplexing...why did my husband stare at me throughout my many emotions as if I looked and sounded like an alien when trying to explain how hard it was for me?
He is only enrolled for two mornings a week. which is a total of a mere 8 hours. In my pursuit of trying to see the benefits, I relish in the idea of what those 8 adult hours could mean to me. I can get my work done in the quiet...take a nap, or an uninterrupted shower. I can watch a trashy reality show, write, run or even venture off to Target (you know...big girl things). I also tell myself this is good for him to learn to interact with other kids and learn to listen to teachers. But, when all is said and done it feels foreign to be without this appendage I have had attached to me for nearly three years.
I must say, I was really proud that I didn't cry. I fought back the tears because I wanted him to be excited. I was even more proud when I didn't circle the school the entire four hours and actually went to enjoy a special kid-free breakfast in town with the Hubs. I didn't pick him up early....I even resisted giving a dirty look to the kid who was "tattling" on him to the teacher when I walked in to pick him up. All in the hopes of this process being a positive one. I must say...it is making me appreciate my morning with him today so much more.
The crazy part to the story is that he goes again tomorrow for school day number two. I'm sure we didn't all see that coming *womp womp*. I am hoping it will be easier so I don't sound like this silly over dramatic mom. He seemed to have fun and says he wants to go back. I hope this little happiness helps nudge me in the "I can do this" category yet again tomorrow. Sometimes making sure I am wearing my big girl pants in the morning is a lot more work than I ever thought it would be.
So today I raise my chocolate chip cookie or any other buttery-flaky piece of bread in my hand to all you ladies who do this every day. You ladies are my heros!