Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Sometimes being a mom stinks

Yesterday I couldn't even begin to focus on all the projects I am working on. I didn't take the time to go for my daily run and I disregarded my waistlines feelings by beginning my temporary anti-discrimination campaign against carbohydrates. All of these ridiculous actions because yesterday the little man started school. 
I wasn't originally going to talk about this on the blog so I could spare all of you non-mom's out there. But I'm realizing today I just need a bit of support from some fellow ladies and moms. Why is it that it felt like one huge punch in the gut when I dropped him off and even more perplexing...why did my husband stare at me throughout my many emotions as if I looked and sounded like an alien when trying to explain how hard it was for me?
He is only enrolled for two mornings a week. which is a total of a mere 8 hours. In my pursuit of trying to see the benefits, I relish in the idea of what those 8 adult hours could mean to me. I can get my work done in the quiet...take a nap, or an uninterrupted shower. I can watch a trashy reality show, write, run or even venture off to Target (you know...big girl things). I also tell myself this is good for him to learn to interact with other kids and learn to listen to teachers. But, when all is said and done it feels foreign to be without this appendage I have had attached to me for nearly three years.
 I must say, I was really proud that I didn't cry. I fought back the tears because I wanted him to be excited. I was even more proud when I didn't circle the school the entire four hours and actually went to enjoy a special kid-free breakfast in town with the Hubs. I didn't pick him up early....I even resisted giving a dirty look to the kid who was "tattling" on him to the teacher when I walked in to pick him up. All in the hopes of this process being a positive one. I must say...it is making me appreciate my morning with him today so much more.
The crazy part to the story is that he goes again tomorrow for school day number two. I'm sure we didn't all see that coming *womp womp*. I am hoping it will be easier so I don't sound like this silly over dramatic mom. He seemed to have fun and says he wants to go back. I hope this little happiness helps nudge me in the "I can do this" category yet again tomorrow. Sometimes making sure I am wearing my big girl pants in the morning is a lot more work than I ever thought it would be.
So today I raise my chocolate chip cookie or any other buttery-flaky piece of bread in my hand to all you ladies who do this every day. You ladies are my heros!





17 comments:

  1. You aren't crazy! My son won't start pre-school for another year yet I tear up everytime I drive by the elementary school by my house. I can't imagine how I will be when it's time for him to actually go to school! And, yeh, now I'm getting teary eyed thinking about it - and looking at the sweet pics of your boy and his backpack!! xo

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    1. you're so very sweet. I'm wishing you happy future school thoughts xoxo

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  2. Aw... I remember those days... 13 years ago! Now my 2 boys are at sleep away camp and those feelings came right back *BAM*! As soon as the hubs & I drove away from the camp, the tears started to flow. The thing is, it's all part of giving our little ones the life experiences, confidence and adventures that will help shape them into independent thinkers, shakers, movers & doers!! Each day does get easier... Just know that the feelings (and tears) are in the wings for when they go to Kindergarten, Middle School, Hight School and Sleep Away Camp! ;) Good luck. xoxo

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    1. Thank you so much sweet Patti for showing me the positive ;.)

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  3. Awh, I totally don't blame you. Mine starts kindergarden in 2 weeks eek so not ready

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  4. Oh, you're right - it does stink sometimes. But it's such a good thing that HE likes it. My youngest son is starting kindergarten next month, so I can relate. I've been tearing up a lot lately, because after doing pre-K for two years (one year two mornings a week, the next three) now kindergarten for him means all day, every day. It's such a change for me, and for a while I know I'll feel a little lost, and that's ok. But my oldest son is going into 3rd, so I can remember these feelings when he went. All I can say is you will feel sad and a little lost, but by the end of the school year, you'll come to enjoy the time away from him because you can recharge, you'll appreciate him even more, and you'll get excited for all the new things he's learning and new friends he's making. Despite how it feels now, it is an exciting time.

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    1. You're so very right! It IS an exciting time and I am going to focus on that. Thanks so much for the kind words.

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  5. Your post is very timely for me. I am reluctantly sending my three year son to pre-school this fall (he starts next Monday). The program is also only two days a week for three hours each morning. My son is excited about going to school but I can't help but worry about the whole thing. One big positive is the one-on-one time I will get to spend with my younger two year old son. Good luck, you will have to keep us updated on how he likes his school.

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    1. I will be thinking about you next Monday sweet Laura!

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  6. I remember what it was like when I dropped my son off at preschool for the first time. The teachers basically had to kick me out of the room and I sobbed in the car. It does get a bit easier when you see how much fun they have and how much they grow. But in 22 days my son starts kindergarten and I am a mess. It feels like someone kicked me in the stomach. I know that he is going to do great and make new friends and he is going to be fine. I think it is the letting go and letting my precious baby into the big world. This is the part of parenting that is so difficult and doesn't seem to be getting any easier. So girlfriend, I can relate.

    P.S.-Have you read the Kissing Hand? I tried to read it to my son and started sobbing in the middle of it! It is a really sweet book for kids going to school for the first time.

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    1. Thanks for your sweet words Rhiana. I am going to go look for that book. Hopefully I can get through it. xoxo

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  7. Aw, big man! Rest assured, this is a good thing for him and you are a doing a great job! I had to send my 12-week-old son to full time daycare yesterday. That's a heartbreaker, and I definitely cried. However, this is my second time around. My daughter is living proof that daycare/pre-school makes smart kids who know how to share. Plus, my kids will have awesome immune systems by kindergarten. Focus on the positives!

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  8. My boys have been doing 2 mornings a week for 2 years now! And congrats on not crying cause the first day I sure did. But u will love how much he loves it! He will make friends and play and learn so much and love his teachers and soon enough you will be like me counting down the days when summer can finally be over and they can go back haha!

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    1. ahhh Taylor! You crack me up. Thanks for making me feel not so cray cray. xoxoxo

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