Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Changing Hearts: An open letter to my readers

I want to first thank all of you for sticking by me and the ole' blog the past few weeks while I have been neglecting my normal posting schedule. My life has taken a challenging turn and it has taken me a while to try and find the words to be able to express and share with all of you what is going on. I thought about not sharing such a personal struggle that my family and I are going through, however, we all know that is not my style. I care so deeply about each and every one of you. I simply need your advice, encouragement, stories and support while I try to navigate through this next phase of my life.

Photograph by photographer Lauren Fried 
A few of you have asked via email why I don't talk about the Hubs as much on the blog any more and furthermore, you have been wondering if everything is okay. I haven't known how to respond to those questions or maybe I have been too worried as to what people would think about my answer when the past three years of this blog have been about my little family. The answer is we are currently going though a separation. It has proven to be one of the most challenging times in our lives, hence the lack of creative motivation and blog posts. It is hard to know exactly how to carry yourself through gracefully picking up the pieces that once made up the last 11 years of your life. We are desperately trying to do what is best for Oliver over ourselves and make his life and routine stay as normal as possible. We are both trying to move towards this next phase as friends and would so much appreciate any extra prayers you could send our way.
I find it very hard at night when everything seems still around me except the thoughts racing through my mind. Will I be able to find a job to support me and Olly? Will I be able to get a new car and maintain our current way of living? These questions along with millions of others have me worried about what kind of mother I am and ultimately how much strength I have left in this 5 foot 3 frame.
As for the blog...don't worry. I am not going anywhere. I feel like I need this outlet more than ever before. The creativity is slowly seeping its way back into my daily thoughts and I am ready to start documenting these current changes in my life as long as you guys are coming along with me. In fact, on Friday I have an update on the little man's room. There has been some curtain, lamp, and accessory action...OH MY! And I'm excited to be able to share something decorative with all of you (after a little hiatus).

Thank you for letting me take the time today to be so honest with you guys. I hope those of you who have followed the blog for a while, still feel the love that is tucked behind each picture and inside every post. Sometimes families change...sometimes we navigate ourselves through tough spots but it always feels better when you are surrounded my good people. May you guys continue to be blessed in the New Year. I know I am looking forward to new challenges, new memories, and a lot of happiness. I am trying to focus on what is bright all around me, savor each moment that seems natural and familiar, and enjoy lots of hugs from my little guy.

See you lovelies on Friday.


  1. I can't imagine how tough that has been on you and your family... hang in there!!

  2. Thinking about all of you and how difficult this must be on so many levels. Prayers your way Courtney.

  3. I have been through divorce and separation so I understand what you must be going through.
    Thinking of you and your little and praying for things to become bright again soon for you.

  4. Praying for reconciliation for you and your husband, sweet lady. God can use these trials and struggles to do great and powerful things in your life and countless others!

  5. I just discovered your blog today. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time. I hope that both you and your husband can work things out and if not that you can be friends and still give your son two loving homes

  6. I just came across this yesterday...
    "Life is like a camera, just focus on what's important and capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don't work out, take another shot."
    I've followed your blog ever since YHL featured your beautiful Baltimore home. Stay strong, sending positive vibes your way. Xo

  7. Hi Courtney, I just started following your blog the end of November 2013, so sorry to hear what is happening in your life and how its affecting your family and life. Blogging helped me tremendously when my husband Dave passed away and I became a young (middle aged) widow. I started blogging to shared decorating and craft ideas, never knowing I would truly use it as a "emotional support" down the road. Believe me, I have no regrets and ever so happy to have met some wonderful women in this social network around the world. Blogging has only been a place where I could truly express myself (normally a very private person), it has only added to my life in a positive way. Hopefully things can turn around for you and your husband. A good marriage has a lot of "dents" in it. Pray, nothing is impossible when God is in the house :O) xo

    1. You are so incredibly strong Sandy. Thank you, thank you, thank you. xo

  8. i'm so sorry, sweetheart. thinking of you and sending prayers your way. xoxo

  9. What strength you must have to be so honest during such a private, difficult time. Finding happiness is what's most important, best wishes for the future to you!

  10. I'm so sorry to hear that :( hugs to you!!

    1. Congrats on your new addition sweet thang and thank you for your love and support ;.)

  11. This post made me so sad! Big hugs to you Courtney! Sending lots of thoughts a prayers your way. If you need anything and I mean ANYTHING you know where to find me! xoxo, Kayleigh

  12. as always, love, and prayers for you from our family!

  13. I'm so sorry to hear this and thinking of you at this time. I noticed your absence and was wondering if everything was all right. Prayers to you and your family!

  14. I have been following your blog for a long while Courtney and I am so sorry your family is going through such a tough time. Sending prayers and hugs your way. xoxo

  15. Thinking of you through this tough and challenging time! I know we don't know each other, but I follow your blog and your Instagram and I admire your dedication to making your life the best that it can be! Definitely sending good thoughts, prayers and hugs your way!

  16. So sorry to hear this, Courtney. You have been through your weight loss journey with us, shared the difficult relationship you had with your in-laws, and shared so many happy family times with us. My heart hurts for you. Whether it be one person or the other or both, people change. Circumstances change. God has hold of us through it all. I will be praying for all of you. May the Lord bless you and keep you.

  17. This saddens me so much Courtney. Sending prayers, and positive thoughts your way for your family. Hopefully you will all have some peace and resolution in the coming days. Thank you for sharing your story, I know it must be hard.

  18. I'm so sorry to hear this, but happy you are trying to remain friends. Something brought you together in the first place so leaving as friends is admirable. You are so talented and capable and I know this will help you find the perfect job to keep your little house plugging away. You can do this. Look to the people you love for encouragement.

  19. so sorry, courtney. sending prayers for strength, patience and courage. xo

  20. I am sure it was initially very difficult for you to share this, but as you noted In Instagram, I am glad you ultimately found it freeing. As you see from these comments, your readers care deeply about you and your happiness. As always, wishing you the best of everything!

  21. Your readers return each day because you are so very special! Thinking of you and praying for you this evening. Love & hugs to you.

  22. Courtney, thank you for being so brave to share such a personal struggle. You are a source of such positivity and light for your readers - I hope you can find some comfort in knowing there is a community that is thinking and praying for you and your family.

  23. Thank you all SOOOOOO SOOOOOO much! Your words and encouragement mean more to me than you will ever know. You guys rock my world and I adore you more than chocolate or even glitter....true story xoxoxoxox

  24. Courtney,
    I have been following your blog for the last year or more...so sorry for your family! Though I only know of you through your blog, I can relate because I've been in a similar situation. For what it's worth, counseling can really be helpful to work through difficulties and sometimes bring reconciliation, depending on the situation. Marriage, for most couples, seems to hit an all time low when the kids are little and needy. I would encourage you to seek outside help before making any major decisions! Sometimes it only takes a few tweaks to get things working again. Whatever you decide, I'm certain your future will bring good things! You are extremely talented, and I wish you the best!

  25. Sorry to hear your sad news, Courtney. First and foremost, please take care of yourself. Go to counseling, talk to friends and family, enjoy that son of yours. You are a strong and beautiful woman who deserves happiness. Things will get better.

  26. Thank you for being so brave as to share this very personal trial in your life. You didn't have to tell your readers anything, you never owed us the honesty you gave. You've shared so many of your triumphs in life but it's rare to see someone share their valley's too. For that, thank you. And I'm sure by sharing you will have encouraged at least one person in their trial. Having gone through a separation, I can't imagine sharing it on a public platform. My husband and I eventually worked things out but all marriages are different. I pray that whatever your situation, that you would be blessed with peace and even more strength...I say 'more' because you obviously already have a ton of it! xoxo, a fan!

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